I hate not being high

I've been grounded for like 2 weeks. I got like 11 days left. The cops found me and my friends smoking pot and my dad found out and he was like "nigga yous grounded" im like "fuck". so now ive been sober for like 3 days and i just hate life when im not high. I just want dome damn weed I'm so fucking bored thats why I'm writing on this blog I forgot I had.

I don't know who will read, my fan base is basically gone. I don't know what to say anymore. I honestly don't know what to say. I've been so scared to come on here for months. I've been going through severe depression and almost killed myself several times because of problems in life. It's not that big of a deal though, I heard like 12% of teenagers go through that or some shit. I've been attending therapy twice a week and I think my psychotherapist is very nice. I'm not a perfect person. I cry almost every day when I remember this place. I've wasted a whole year of my life moping and crying like a bitch. I've lied to you all and let you all down and I'm so very sorry. I fucking hate my life and I hate living like this. I've spent my whole life regretting everything I ever did. 3 fucking years. 3 goddamn years ago I drew my first illustration of my infamous fat bird thing. Back then, I was a much happier person. 12 years old and my life was perfect. I actually loved life. And I dont know what the fuck happened.

I don't even know why the fuck I'm writing this shit. I feel like a crybaby ho crying for attention. I'm a pathetic person who let all you guys down. Even though nobody read this, goodbye.

And if you did read this, please don't comment saying gay shit like "oh im so sorry" because if you do that, you'll make me feel 12x worse. I guess if you wanna comment just to let me know you read this or at least some of it, just say ok or something.